I’m playing in the realm of *wants* these days. It feels so taboo! So forbidden! 😈So empowering! 🤩
And, I’m not talkin’ anything crazy here.
Mostly, I'm staring at my 7 fancy tubes of toothpaste and picking which flavor I want in the moment. 🤷♀️
I'm practicing spontaneous, in the moment, stay-present-now kinds of choices.
This is me, designing my life. 🎨 And, it’s fun!
I’m intentionally designing my life 👩🎨 to enhance joy, connectedness, fun and fulfillment by KNOWING MY WANTS. 💫
It sounds pretty basic – I know.
But, breaking my old, default habit of deferring to others’ wants is no easy task. I'm tenacious about it.
The habit is being broken.
There are SO many reasons 📜why we (especially women, I think) prioritize the wants of others – and, I’d love to talk to you for hours about how we’ve landed here.
But, more importantly, I want to share how I’m navigating through this social quagmire -- and invite you to join me!
My 3 new favorite practices:
1. 🤔Pick one simple, daily opportunity to practice asking yourself, “What do I want?”
For me, this looks like opting out of default choices and creating more options – ie. Toothpastes! 😁Morning and night, I take a moment to check in with myself to see what flavor would make me feel happy. (Ari does this too. He asks aloud, “Which one is speaking to me? I choose…this one!” 😍Heartmelt – every time!)
2. 🦸♀️Choose how you want to feel before you take action.
Every morning I jot down how I want to feel that day. I keep those notes handy throughout the day 📝 as I move through my agenda and simply choose to return to them as choices for doing and being emerge. (Check out Danielle LaPorte’s Daily Planner for more on this.)
3. Here’s the biggie: SPEAK UP. 🗣Figure out what you want when with others and assert it.
Easy example: “What should we have for dinner?” “I want X.” BOOM! 🏆
Courageous example: “That was a great first date.” “I want to see you again this week.” Eek! Yes. Ask for it. 💃
It’s pleasantly surprising how invigorating sharing my wants is. It doesn’t mean I always get what I want. But. It’s a starting point for building true connectivity.
It’s a starting point for seriously real, authentic, no-joke, take-me-as-I-am self-expression.
Hi! This is me! 🙋♀️
Meeting another in this space is the first step in the dance of intimacy. 🧚♀️
And whether you like it or not, TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT YOU WANT IS ESSENTIAL.
So, why is it important to know and assert your wants?
As humans, we are still driven by animalistic instinct. 🙊 Our instincts are not merely needs-based, they are desire-driven.
Whether we're conscious of our wants or not, we're acting to get those wants met.
If we're not conscious of our wants, we're being manipulative.
If we’re not responsible for our wants, we’re being controlling.
If we’re not asking for what we want, we're slowly withering, as our life force is drained and those instinctual muscles atrophy.
Work the muscle. 💪 Be alive NOW. Tap in to your power. Make choices. Be the master of your own life. 🎩 Know your wants to claim them. 🔐 💖💫🦋 #wantresponsibly